There are moments into our lives that we could never imagine. In anywhere, may it be a place of many stories about love and passions, kings and queens, days of hopes and glories because we govern the own and the world, but there are also times of darkness and loneliness in our heart. In some point of our lives we can be lost, lonesome in somewhere, suffering from a deeply agony, or so just looking for something that will go filling all emptiness and vanity inside and a power motivates us to realize it:
SEEK,,, DOUBT… LIVES… HEARTS… SCARS INSIDE… PASSIONS… LOVE… GROWING UP TOGETHER … STORIE… REMEMVRANCES… DESTINY…
(Davys Sousa, 23 years old, Teresina-Pi - Brazil )
SOMEONE TO GOVERN MY HEART
A novel by Davys Sousa
“Oh, I am fortune’s fool!”
From Romeo & Juliet (III, I, 141)
CHAPTER I:
Heart of Darkness
‘T
was pretty late in the winter in the year 1968, when the night had threatened to cover skyscrapers and a beautiful picture of a declining sun’s twilight vanishing through the city and the mist which had silenced the happiness of life involving it all. The night had now came. Many dreams just had begun and some already had finished. The people were beggars longing for them and uncommonly good care of themselves like a sudden elevation of spirit and consciousness. For most people keeping dreams within ourselves is only a pipe dream. Some which we hope to perceive. Without them, we could feel alone and lost.
In the night, down came the storm. ‘Twas raining violently. The heavy rain beat the window down, ‘twas too cold. In a bleak room was Mr. Jones drinking his Southern Comfort --- a flavor of life rooted in the spirit of New Orleans --- looking at a picture with a subdued smile while he was listening “Little Girl Blue” --- published in 1935 and rearranged by the performance of Janis Joplin. Suddenly, as if he could dislocate to that picture he still stood stopped in his sweet day-dream. A look of love and unfairness. And in his look unconsciously he effaced himself from the present. The tender remembrance of something or someone.
“What sense does life bring to someone?” he asked himself, “Why does GOD make a decision to love someone and after He deserts us, He forgets that love?”
Mrs. Jones was gone to him as if it is the beauty of day forgotten in its last performance (such as sweetness of an angel singing and smiling under moonlit). His only dream and life is in that picture right now. He called her “My little Ann”. He felt touched by heavens. With her, he dreamt. His pearl! He said avowedly to everyone that she was a perfectly blessed symphony of his life and a prayer in his heart. And he also said that he was the happiest man round the world. She was his soul-mate, he swore. Upon his word! To remember her looking at his old picture that still linking us, he didn’t cry but his smile was about grievances, although ‘twas also about a true love and beauty.
“To what might we have loved to each other more and more than ourselves when we were sticking?” he thought it over, “What about ourselves might it remain at other one that made a mark forever? Is there heartiness in our desires, love or only darkness?”
In life we look for a sense to live or be happy in somewhere and however. In our search as we are young by self-knowledge during all our experiences and the power about our destiny, this sense can be immeasurable. It doesn’t exist how we find a way, a certain path for happiness, because it has already found itself within ourselves and it’s in our choices that it manifests.
Mr. Jones didn’t know what sense his life was.
Days and days passing, weeks by weeks, he thought if he could lay his head unto his pillow every night where his be-loved slept with a rightly absolute certain to go sleeping at once and once.
“GOD, WHERE!” Mr. Jones thought, “Love in Eden !”
It is, absolutely, an absence of her a part of his weakness, delusion into his life and decay.
There is a point in which our questions look for in-our-face replies, however, they, perhaps, are only heavenly acceptable to us.
Ó his sweetheart Ann! She was kind, gay, fond of dogs and children, and it was obvious that his life was so completely deep filled with her, with their love, with their beautiful large house, his friends, and their dreams building and growing up together. He has remembered as their house bustled with their friends and relatives savoring a conversation piece, soft music or opera and wines but he’s always drunk his Southern Comfort.
When Mr. Jones was dimming in his own thoughts, in his well-lit living room rang the telephone. However, as he was sound asleep in his wandering dreams with a be-loved, he was not conscious about the present situation. If the strict truth about his own life came and were totally known in which love and strife were mixed in his heart and on his mind. He was fancied, for Mrs. Jones and he had fitted nice. Suddenly, he looked towards his bedroom and saw the pillow where they’d shared evergreen moments together. And he let his Southern Comfort fall on the ground, closing his eyes, seemingly glad to dream dreams, with a brightly smile upon his face. More than a sense of delight, would it be!
Early in the morning, someone has knocked in his door. ‘Twas Mrs. Cliff that has rung to him, however, no one has answered the telephone. So, concerned about it, she has minded up to look what was happening. Repeatly, she knocked and nothing… no reply! Thus, she tried to see through the window. Mrs. Cliff was their dear fellow and cared their house’s mortgage. Worried about him, Mrs. Cliff went to call a locksmith who was also fellow of them, Mr. Harry.
As Mr. Harry got the door open, they found Mr. Jones sat down in his old armchair and the music still playing.
He seemed to be dreaming and smiling. Mrs. Cliff and Mr. Harry thought, “What a pity! But happy, he died!” Certainly, tranquility he slept.
There are things in life that are so indeed questionable like the own existence in this world and our destinies. What happened with Mr. Jones must be a heavenly eventuality. What dominates life is the own fate that exists.
In our journey of life, we could understand that all signals exist. Where will our souls leave to? Mysteries around us, the things and all the events! It is said that before we were evergreen beings until some day. The concepts and first thoughts about soulmates have been around for a long time and arose from Greek mythology. Accordingly with the myth, our ancestors once had two heads, four arms.
"Human beings were originally round, eight-limbed creatures with two faces and two sets of genitals," the story says. They were "powerful and ambitious," and in order to reduce their strength, Zeus had them cut in two. Afterward, the split pairs clung together in a desperate attempt to reunite. "Zeus took pity on their incurable longing and created intercourse, allowing the separated halves to temporarily experience the ecstasy of completion again," resulting in the creation of humans. As a punishment, we are condemned to spend our lives searching for the other half, our soulmates. Maybe that's why so many of us are looking for someone to make us feel complete. So, we are always in an attempt of finding our other half. Half life, half light! Soulmate! Do you believe in this?
A man or woman cannot live alone for a long time, so for them “loneliness is a hunger born deep in the heart.” But when we miss someone we gone crazy into our loneliness and blues… we become a bit dark into our minds, hearts. ‘Twas what happened about Mr. Jones. When his soulmate, his sweetheart Anne left forever into his life. He felt in love with her the moment they first kissed. Love is (also) unexplainable and as simple as that.
We just are moved by the events so common or uncommon… While a secret heart longs for a breeze into his life and a heavenly flame for his spirit… as we cannot see one, we see silhouettes and get lost.
But what could have happened about Mr. Jones and Mrs. Jones’s love? Secret about us! Love, is a kind manager of heart, it’s a sigh in the night that you feel inside but you get to dread because it’s unknown and you are in darkness inside but you can see a half life in your path.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Next Chapters:
CHAPTER II: The beginning (Stephen’s life)
CHAPTER III: Discussion about love (other life)
Davys Sousa
(Caine)
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